45th Annual Shammy Awards

Is there a point to the Grammy awards? Seriously, what's the point other than to allow Faith Hill to parade around mostly naked? Which is a great thing, don't get me wrong. But we had 3.5 hours of which she was maybe 5 minutes. Not a good S/N ratio.

Even if you add in the Springsteen, Van Zandt, Costello and Grohl do the Clash thing you can only justify maybe 10 minutes of the whole show.

And what the hell was with the Norah Jones phenomenon? She can sing a little but so what? And she's dead boring. Two bars and I'm ready to go to sleep. Who actually buys that crap? To me she represents everything that's wrong with music today at least as much as Britstina Spearuilera. (And yes, I'll be happy to explain why to anyone who's interested.)

There were plenty of other folks there just as talented -- and moreso -- who didn't win squat. (Vanessa Carlton, to name one. Girl is seriously talented. And she wrote her song, unlike some other multi-shammy award winning artists.)

Oh, and did I mention that one of the best albums of last year -- hell, of the last decade -- wasn't even nominated??? What's up with that? Yankee. Hotel. Foxtrot.

On the other hand, I was glad to see Nickel Creek win for Contemporary Folk Album for "This Side." Those kids can play. And sing. And write. They were also up for Country Instrumental but they lost that to the Dixie Chicks' juggernaut. I like the Nickel Creek song better, but that's just me.

Other awards I agreed with or was glad to see:

Bruce Springsteen: Best Male Rock Vocal, Best Rock Song, Best Rock Album
I was glad to see this, though I wasn't aware that "Born To Run" was eligible, seeing as how it was release 27 years before the eligibility period.

Johnny Cash: Best Male Country Vocal
He's old but still the measure of cool. Show me another country artist with the balls to cover NIN and Depeche Mode.

Dixie Chicks: Country Album, Country Performance (Duo or Group)
Nothing to say here, execpt that these chicks rock. The band they put together for this album is truly amazing.

Doc Watson: Traditional Folk Album
They ought to just rename the category after the man.

Eminem: Short Form Music Video
Rap Boy. Enough said.

Awards that didn't go to Norah Jones but still made me ask why:

No Doubt: Pop Performance Duo or Group
Could they just get run over by a bus? Please? They make me pray for California to fall into the ocean.

Nelly: Best Male Rap Solo Performance
Lame, lame, lame. I'm hardly a hip-hop expert but both "Without Me" and "Roll Out" were waaaaaaaaay better songs. Who votes for this crap?

Twangy McTwang, er, Alan Jackson: Country Song
The voters obviously thought that the category was called "Crappy Song." Or maybe "Best Schlockfest." Not only was it overly maudlin but it also just plain sucked.

Eartha: Contemporary Soul Gospel Album
I don't really have an opinion on this. I just don't understand how an album with NO airplay and sales of 52 copies even got nominated. And won! Go figure.

My pick for best Shammy category:

Best Liner Notes
Best packaging ran a close second though. What happened to Best Vocal Performance by a Ferret featuring a Vole? I thought that was supposed to be its own category this year.

I guess that's enough. I need to rest up for the Oscars.

Posted by John at February 25, 2003 1:56 AM