The Ballad of the Boat Decals

I've not had good luck with boat decals. From the very beginning, no luck at all.

You've probably never thought about boat decals, unless you have a boat. Even though you've never thought about it, you're probably aware that boats have registration numbers -- sort of like a car has a license plate. In Maryland you renew them every two years, again, much like your car license plates.

Spring 2001: Decals #1

When I got my boat back in April of 2001 I got the standard temporary decal that was good for somewhere between 45 and 90 days. That normally gives the DNR plenty of time to process the new boat registration and send you out your decals. Except mine didn't come. Then, they didn't come some more. Eventually I got my dealer to talk to DNR and have them send me a second set. Those eventually came and all was well.

Spring 2003: Decals #2

Unlike renewing your license plates, boat decals all expire on Dec 31 of whatever year. Since I got mine in 2001 they expired at the end of 2002. I drove out to Annaoplis in March, paid my fees, and got my stickers. Piece of cake.

Because I live in a community with a homeowner's ASSociation -- and because they're butt-licking busy-bodies with too much time on their hands -- I can't keep my boat in my driveway. No, my brand new, $25K, bright and shiny bass boat is an eyeysore. (Yes, they sent me a nasty-gram that said that. Eyesore. I'm not going to go into what goes on in the rest of the neighborhood. We'll save that for another time.) Anyway... since my homeowner's ASSociation doesn't permit boats I have to pay $100/month for a parking space at the local EZ Storage. (And yes, my boat was broken into last spring -- to the tune of $3,000 worth of loss. Yet another story for another time.)

Where was I? Oh, yes. I got my decals at the beginning of March and didn't put them on the boat. There was no rush -- I wasn't planning on taking the boat out for a couple weeks. So I put the stickers and the associated paperwork above the visor in my truck and left it there. Seems like a safe place, right? I'm certainly not taking the boat anywhere without my truck -- and I'm not taking my truck anywhere without that visor.

Fast forward to a couple weekends ago. Finally managed to get halfway decent weather to arrive on a weekend, and I'm really pumped -- ready to get on the water. By 10:00 at night I was ready to go. It's actually pretty unusual for me to be this organized before I go fishing, especially for the first trip of the year. There's always something that has to get done -- reels to clean, strip, and spool, tackle boxes to clean and organize. This time, though, I had planned everything well. All my clothes were laid out and ready to go, fishing rods rigged up and at the ready, nothing to do in the morning except put some drinks in the cooler and hit the road. All systems were a go.

All systems except for the boat decals.

No problem, they're above the visor. I got in the truck, flipped the visor down. And the decals were gone. I mean, really gone. Not "tucked inside something" gone. Not "fallen under the seat" gone. Not "stuffed in the glovebox" gone. And not "accidentally moved somewhere else" gone, either. Gone gone. I spent well over an hour looking everywhere I could think of. I looked every place I could think of where they could possibly be and more than a few places they couldn't be.

Eventually I gave up. I started repairing the damge done in the search. I was on my way back in the house when something in the bed of my truck caught my eye. There was this white plastic trash bag there that I kept meaning to throw away. I can't think of a single good reason why I hadn't thrown it away the week before, when we were driving back from Pennsylvania. I would have just gone to bed if it weren't for this little Obi-wan voice in the back of my head telling me to use the force. (Or something like that.) Sure enough, the decals were way down inside that bag. In another plastic bag. In a Wendy's bag. How did they get there? Damned if I know. I can't answer that any more than tell you why I didn't throw the bag away in the first place. (When we left Pennsylvania I actually tied the bag down so it wouldn't blow out of the truck. Would've been way easier to just throw it away.)

Spring 2003: Decals #3

I did actually manage to go fishing the next day, in spite of the lack of sleep caused by looking for my lost decals. Anyone care to guess what happens next? Anyone? One of the decals came off. I don't know if it happened while I was driving the boat or while trailering it.

Luckily, the DNR is used to dealing with this. They've got a form for it, in fact. And, oddly enough, the fee for replacement decals is only $1.00. So now I've got a new set. I'll be going out sometime this week and super gluing them to the boat. Or something.

Props to the DNR

I have to give serious props to the DNR service center in Annapolis. The folks there are courteous, knowledgeable, and extremely efficient. If the rest of our state and local governments were 1/2 as good the world would be a much better place.

Posted by John at April 21, 2003 6:32 PM